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I already wrote a 8 pages paper, please revise it base on the following requirements:

1. The thesis: it needs to be clear and specific but at the same time insightful and rigorous (it should provide an in-depth answer to an important question). Here you have listed several strategies (and I appreciate the fact that you have spent time learning about them), but what ONE approach do they belong to? Would you say that they belong to emotional or to rational advertisement? Revise the thesis to include an explanation (why do you take this position)?

2. Provide a clear overall explanation and definition of the one approach you have chosen (the four strategies are part of the approach) and show how and why it works. Use the articles we have discussed in class.

3. Overall focus: you need to be detailed and specific. Take out all discussion of TV commercials in general (it honestly does not communicate any new ideas).

4. Analysis of specific commercials: this is what is missing in the paper. You mention the ads but do not explain how and why they support your chosen principle of advertisement. Use the handout attached to the assignment sheet and provide detailed analysis of all the commercials you cite.

5. Do not use subsections in short papers. In academic writing, we need to practice writing coherent and clear prose and provide transitions when necessary.

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