week 4 disc1-2 family structural theory, writing homework help

Please do a paragraph about this post with this instruction . 

post most have  4 or more  sentences .

 you also have to have a high quality post from a content perspective. This means it also needs to do more than agree with or praise a class mate. If you agree with a classmate, explain why, give an example, share what you learned in the readings, ask questions of each other, etc.

The family structural theory was designed for families in crisis and a divorce would qualify as such. The basis is that the family is a socially and culturally open system that allows reaction and adaptation to demands placed upon it, thru different types of behavior. 

The blending of 2 families is for sure, a process. It takes alot of energy, time and committment with lots of tears and hopefully laughs along the way to function as 1. According to research, the structure of the family does not determine how happy the children will be, or how smart, or how socially well adjusted (Gamache, 1994). It does find that exposure to prolonged conflict is harmful for children.

To function as 1 with an open accepting attitude from the kids, I think it is really important for the step parent to make it clear to the stepson or daughter that he or she in not the parent. It can’t be assumed, it needs to be spoken. That child does not want the parent that is not living in the house being replaced by anyone, even if the relationship is not ideal. This does not solve everything but it is a good start.  Also, let the parent of the child make those child rules. Okay for the step parent to enforce them but handing them out is a whole new ballgame, never well received.

Next, I believe to make the merging of 2 houses compatible, there has to be rules, almost like a business, if you will.  Depending on how many children and the age of them, responsibilities are going to be doubled somewhere and that is going to cause conflict. So much easier to prevent it.  Everybody can take turns, plus it will keep everyone on their toes to do it well. This is going to require family meetings which are always a great way to re-group and discuss things anyway. Maybe, assist the kids in making some of the not so important rules, they will be more apt to abide by them. Same with chores, make a list, have children take turns choosing.  They can always be changed out in the future. Nobody wants to be on trash duty forever. The meetings can be fun, at dinnertime, or a set time, whatever works  is what works. At some point, a child might even request a family meeting when feeling stressed or left out or sad.  This could prevent a bigger problem later on.

Lastly, the husband and wife can’t be forgotten. They are the reason for this. They need their own time, away from the children, guilt free.  That needs to be made clear to all the children with no if’s, and’s or but’s. Even if it only an afternoon out taking a hike. I do believe families can happily merge with some effort. The adults have to take control from the start or the results will be disasterous but just like standards of care, standards of family can be effective.